Sep 22, 2016

Somedays



Somedays I am sitting on my desk writing, my beige shawl draped on my shoulders, the shawl I always wore when I was pregnant with Jori, the shawl I still wear when I need warmth and comfort, the wooly shawl that survived numerous times of washing, oil paint, food stains and time, looking worn out and full of the love it carries in its stiches.

And somedays I am sitting on my desk trying to write, a light inside of me dimmed, a garden in my heart suddenly barren, its birds refusing to sing, my whole being uninspired, silent and brooding. As if unable to wake from a heavy troubled sleep, I see a way out but am unable to follow it, I hear the answers but am unable to accept them. Something much larger than me takes over me, I am completely and utterly in its grip.