Last
If only there was one more door to
knock
one more door to open
one last hope not consulted
a star within reach.
Need
Sometimes she would want to say
(explain)
paint a vivid picture with hand
gestures and facial expressions
so people would nod in empathy
how she craved an understanding soft look.
But how do you explain darkness?
what facial expression conveys
emptiness?
what hand gesture portrays endless,
infinite, unbound nothingness; in which
she drowns?
Letting go of God
When we stopped talking
I shut my eyes and let you go
my prayers became mere physical
movements
I don’t believe you can pull me out
of myself.
I am a living thing, I will live
until I die.
there are no miracles
no sudden turns
there is only fate.
I know empty
I feel empty
I wake and sleep empty
I see empty people everywhere
I hear empty words
I loathe the emptiness you have
created in people like me
I loathe the empty handedness of
time.
Stab
Stabbing the ashtray with a half
burnt bud
it dawns on her
This austere dark room is where her
mind lives
Coping
I know how the mind copes:
“It wasn’t meant to be”
“We were wrong for each other”
“He was too; distant, careless,
jealous, vague, flirtatious, unattached..”
The mind, stiffly holding on to
every ideal he did not live up to.
I know how the heart copes:
Brooding in the dark
Weeping guilt and wanting, but.
I know how the body copes:
a mirage of a touch
the familiar warm limbs after a night
of lovemaking.
a shiver in the spine.
Learning
What I did not know; is that love
ends in deepened desire;
that love lost ripens to a life of
its own, floats aimlessly,
drifts like a little boat without
oars..
We
We are so lonely in our loves
and, it is often
easier to imagine than live.
