Letters to God

Since you are a man, 

I perhaps understand now

how you have chosen your punishments;

running blunt knives on to my flat soul.

Why I trusted you with all my heart,

in return you gave me a few sparkling dead things.

........................................ 

I mirror

your living things

when I am alive.

But today I am mostly dead,

I mirror your dead things:

The still, slowly whitening eyes

The ill shade of yellow blood

thickening around my pulse.

Lips cold and blue.

I have pushed and pushed

this red liquid into these tired veins

the exhausted slowing pump

at most times did not want to take

nevertheless

it did

it did..