Is art madness?

Vincent Van Gogh said” I put my heart and soul into my work and have lost my mind in the process”.

Art, like a jealous, demanding, manipulative partner will not settle for anything less than all of us; all of our time, all of our attention and all of our soul. It is no wonder that so many artists live in isolation and prefer it to company and many confess that they feel lonelier in other people’s company than they do in their solitude. Charles Bukowski wrote: “If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it”. 

The muse it seems will not be satisfied with less than full ownership of her artist; art can give the artist everything and rob the artist from everything.

For many long uninterrupted years

She was the friend and confidant of Art;

They walked together, heart communed with heart

In that sweet comradeship that so endears.

Her fondest hope, her sorrows and her fears

She told her mate; who would in turn impart

Important truths and secrets. But a dart,

Shot by that unskilled, mischevous boy, who peers

From ambush on us, struck one day in her breast,

And Love sprang forth to kiss away her tears.

She thought his brow shone with a wonderous grace;

But, when she turned to introduce her guest

To Art, behold, she found an empty place,

The goddess fled, with sad, averted face.

Ella Wheeler Cox

Brighten up your vagina!

Ideals of femininity, womanhood and beauty were pressed upon us from a dangerously young age, our families, the men we loved, the media and religion scrutinized us so much and for so long, that we took it upon ourselves to become our own greatest critics, we sniffed and analyzed every flaw until we’ve taught our own minds to work against us, turning our own eyes into two spies constantly following us and judging us with their vulture squints. Everywhere we turned there was some magic lotion promising to make us look ten years younger, because as women we aren’t allowed to age of course, breast enhancing bras are available for twelve year old girls, hair extensions, fake lashes, fake nails, fake breast fillets, a fake tan, a corset to make us look slimmer, five inch heels too make us look taller, and vaginal cream for darker skinned women promising to make their vaginas fairer! And the world is still baffled by why women can’t just relax and be themselves, why we’re not more genuine and authentic, why we struggle so much with self-image and suffer so much with low levels of confidence and self-esteem. Our bodies were never ours, the sacredness of our bodies, the meaning of our bodies were not measures decided by ourselves, and because our bodies were never ours we did not know how to be in our bodies, we only saw ourselves through other people's eyes.

So, what are words exactly?

The inspiring Dr. Maya Angelo said: “ words are things I’m convinced, you have to be careful what words you use and you must be careful what words you allow to be used in your home, someday we will be able to measure the power of words, I think they are things, they get on the walls, they get in your wall paper, in your rugs, in your upholstery, in your clothes and finally into you”

Many spiritual teachers lead us to believe that words don’t matter, they are mere sounds we humans make which have no real meaning except  in the context of our social conditioning. I was personally soothed by this perspective when I heard it being said by my favourite spiritual teacher Matt Kahn, especially after I was (as an immigrant) subjected to the racist: “why don’t you go back where you came from?” which in most developed societies is considered hate speech; according to Kahn, however, a hateful phrase such as that should not hurt my feelings at all, unless I was continually conditioned and completely saturated since childhood by social norms that had me believe that such words should and must hurt me. Therefore, no racist remark should in any way effect me more than the sound of a dog barking or a crow cawing! As much as I find this argument plausible I can’t get over the personal aspect of words, and if the situation was reversed, should I take “I Love you” said to me by someone I care for personally? My immediate answer is yes, but something deeper, my conscious perhaps almost whispers no! we are as beings in the end eternally separate  and alone.

As a poet and an aspiring writer I value words, I use words as therapy, I use them to feel and make others feel, words move and inspire me. No longer being of any religion but  interested in reading widely I found the old testament’s treatment of words intriguing; genesis: “In the beginning was the word, and the word is God and the word was with God”.

Although I recognize the harm of verbal abuse and take it very seriously, I can’t help but to have a place in me for Kahn’s theory. 

Dear Creativity, is self-doubt inevitable?

Sylvia Plath once wrote “the worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt”

But why are so many artists riddled and hindered with self-doubt?

Most artists don’t perceive a clear distinction between themselves and their art. In fact many -although unconscious of the thought - genuinely believe that they are their art and their art is them. When a painter paints a picture, a poet writes a poem, a photographer snaps a photo, or a writer writes a book this creative endeavor is but an extension of the artist who produced it and an honest expression of their being, thus there exists for artists - who are tender and sensitive in nature - a huge risk of exhibiting that piece of work, as any praise or criticism of that work will be entirely received as praise and criticism towards themselves personally, and we all know that the wrong kind of praise can hurt just as much as criticism – in some cases even more than criticism - when it comes to those delicate and complex beings we call artists.

Art is personal; I once spoke to a talented painter who said to me that he only likes to sell his work to someone who will really love it, cherish it and appreciate it and give it the care and acknowledgment it deserves. Mohsin Hamid, author of The Reluctant Fundamentalist and Moth Smoke in a TV interview confessed that he hates it when people tell him they like one of his books more than the other and that to him this was the equivalent of criticizing his own children. Time and time again we hear artists refer to their work as their children; after all giving birth to a child is the ultimate act of creation, therefore, no wonder that artists can be crippled by a thoughtless or tactless word or opinion. There is no use in trying to convince artists to divorce themselves from their art but I have found that adopting the philosophy “You Are Just as Good as the Competition” quite empowering. You are as unique as only you can be, others may be unique in their own way, but you, you’re indispensable. 

is "I'm a single mother" the new power phrase?

When I read in a UK daily newspaper that divorced people and especially divorced women still in this day and age feel ashamed of the fact that they are divorced and that many of them prefer not to tell friends and acquaintances right away that they had ended their marriage and that it takes divorced women - especially - at least four years to get their lives back on track and for them to feel some normality in their lives again I was genuinely surprised! If I had read this about a conservative traditional religious country like the one I’m originally from (Kuwait) I would have easily believed it, but in a country as forward, as diverse and as liberal as the UK, I truly didn’t expect divorce to still constitute such a social stigma. However, in contrast to the above there is another small but evident social movement led by single mothers; I’ve noticed on many occasions whilst attending talks, seminars or even personal development courses women saying out loud that they are single mothers, but this statement was not spoken in a stigmatized, apologetic, disadvantaged manner, but in a manner that reinforces power, to prove strength, ambition, courage and endurance. When these women were asking questions or acquiring more information from seminar speakers or trainers they were starting their statements with “as a single mother I have a lot on my hands but..” or “as a single mother I need to be extra organized..” or “because I’m a single mother I always make sure that..” these women have a sense of pride in their single-motherhood they acknowledge their own strengths and sense of accomplishment and flaunt this not expecting sympathy or special treatment but demanding admiration and respect. As a divorced single mother myself I find this inspiring and empowering, it might not be a widely spread movement getting a lot of media attention, but a quiet assertive revolution for women.

كُن كالفصول

انتهِ، انتهِ أرجوك
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tUx_zUGhSc&feature=youtu.be

Mundane

Why can I always see you
without looking at you
like the sun..https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZg46AS8Pec&feature=em-upload_owner