Should have said.

I drink bitter coffee, I don't mind - no sugar

and my tasteless black coffee doesn't seem to mind.

Not all things are meant to be sweet;

hunger,

thirst,

things we said;

.I should have said: I want to make this work

I should have said: let's try (again).

I should have said: you make me happy.

I drink bitter coffee and I remember what you said:

  

● I don't ever want to re-marry.

● I'm busy.

● You're  judgmental.

● I don't know what you want.

I hope that you too never  said  what you should have  said

a quiet

A quiet fills her

A quiet like the eeriness that fills the fair the morning after a festive night

Everything grim and silent

Everything still

The stern chipped faces of old Merry-Go-Round horses

The grass soiled with spilled cold drinks

The frustrating repeated sound of sweeping empty cans and

candy wrappers where childish laughter once was

The thrill of the ups and downs of their roller coaster passion brought to a halt

The magic suddenly vacuumed from everything, her days are a starless infinite sky

After he's gone.

Mending

Whilst gardening, strong winds break a young flower's stem; its blossom hangs down in resignation

She supports it with its own leaf. From a distance the flower looks alive.

Easy

I know what is easy

Solitude it easy

Anger is easy

Bitterness is easy

Losing faith is easy

Letting go is easy

Hate is easy

Hurt is easy

Despise is easy

Despair is easy

Loathing is easy

Resentment is easy

Vanity is easy

I know what is hard

Fulfillment.

The Way You Did

Take it the way you did when you lost your way home; the first time you drove in the dark.

Take it the way you did when you lost your grandmother's wedding ring.

Take it the way you did when you lost your dearest friend.

Take it the way you did the night you lost your faith…

But Oh! don't take it like this!

This loss surpasses all

Defeats attempts of language

Shuts all windows of solace

The point zero of all her senses

With every breath, she prays it would stop

But still! Don't take it like this…

Under the ogre foot of this loss; she imagined she would die or worse

live.

Lonesome

She takes her child to the play ground

leans on the rusty broken gate

the lonesome mother

watches happy families – complete

she is different, she is cheated, she is

counting the years;  the incessant footsteps leading

to struggle in a long and winding road - drowning

she forces a smile and waves back at her little one.

She feels her youth seeping through her fingers

falling with every dead strand of hair.  

Glove

She's had so many in the past, but she loves this one.

The one she found by coincidence

The one she found when she was looking for something entirely different

The unassuming one that fits

The one she almost lost; the one that always finds its way back

Resilient strong leather; genuine caring skin

She loves how it retains the shape of her hand when she's had enough

Faithfully etching an impression of her every skin crease; waiting for her to come back